Holy Family

What Makes a Family Holy?

I recall reading an article entitled “Family: They Mess You Up”. It was all about how the miserable lives of children, in all of their dysfunctions, and how they could be traced back to bad parenting. Now, it can certainly be true that bad parenting can result in children facing a whole host of challenges in adulthood, but what is subject to debate is what constitutes “good parenting”.  As Christians, good parenting always involves nurturing the child to grow strong in one’s faith, and represent this faith going out into the world.

As Christians, the spiritual heroes of parenting are, of course, Mary and Joseph.  Mary is honored for her submission to God’s will and her devotion to her son, while Joseph’s role, though less recorded, was his obedience to the angel’s admonition not to abandon Mary. In addition, one can imagine the difficulties Joseph must have endured given Jesus’ public ministry. What is clear from today’s readings is Jesus’ family ‘s obedience to the Torah and their relative poverty (they offered doves for sacrifice). The real story today begins with the presentation. 

Jesus’ presentation, though, is really more of a sacrifice, resonating with the dedication/sacrifice made of Old Testament figures such as Samuel to serve God as prophets.  Jesus’ ritual presentation prefigures the sacrifice he would later make on the cross. John Paul II called Simeon’s speech a “Second Annunciation” since he lays out the very difficult road ahead for Jesus as the “light to enlighten the nations and the people of Israel”.  What is clear is that leaving the Temple, Mary and Joseph must have been filled with a sense of great joy as well as anxiety over the prospects of their child’s life. What is telling is the summation at the end of the reading that reveals that “The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.” This is all canonical scripture tells us about Jesus’ youth. What is apparent, however, is that the foundation for Jesus’ ministry was rich with the close ties to his cousin John, and the freedom with which his mother and father afforded him in his growing ministry. As all families must do, Jesus’ family stepped into the background to contemplate the mystery of God’s gift not only to them but also to the world.

At some point, every family must let go of the gift given to them by God, their children. As with all spiritual and temporal gifts, they are never fully owned but only given to further God’s grace and the outpouring of love into the world.. For parents who cling too tightly to their children, attempting to form them into their own image, are years of regret for a loss of intimacy between parent and child. For in order to fully love one’s child, the parent must ultimately allow the child to become someone apart from them; however, the lasting bond between parent and child is not broken but rather strengthened. Such is God’s gift of love revealed in the freedom of choice for us. This freedom is our gift to our children.

 The dynamics of this freedom are fruitful in that they are built strongly on the foundation of love and mutual respect. St. Paul’s admonition in today’s reading from Colossians to  “Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. . . .” When this love is manifested in the relationship between the parents, the ultimate lesson of love is learned, and more importantly, passed on.

—Fr. Todd